Today was a day that will go down in history in my story as an aunt. There are some rights of passage that aunts often miss- first steps, first words- but if we are lucky we just happen to be around for some of the super fun moments. And get to laugh at our siblings as they stumble through the often hilarious journey of being parents. I got to experience one of those moments today.
Today is my niece C’s fourth birthday. To celebrate the two of us went to Toys R Us. It only took her about 30 minutes to pick out all the gifts she had the budget for and then we went back to her house to show off what she bought.
Her mommy and her brother (P, age 6) were sitting on the front porch waiting for us. As we entered P reminded his mom that she had one additional gift for C. She laughed and told me “He remembered a gift I forgot I had bought her. P can you go get C’s gift? It’s in a black box under mommy’s table in her room.”
P runs in to grab the gift for his little sister while she shows off her booty from Toys R Us. He comes out at a much slower pace and hands C her gift. It’s a beautiful Rapunzel dress for her “American Girl Doll” and as we are showing her the tiara, shoes etc he remains standing to my right.
Then I hear it.
“I found the elf in the black box.” Pause. “I think he’s dead.”
My sister gasps under her breath to my left. (To her credit it wasn’t a bad word).
I think I spoke first- “What?”
“In the black box with C’s gift. The elf is lying in there. I think he’s dead.”
I jumped up immediately hoping he would answer this question yes. “You didn’t touch him did you?”
“No I left him there.”
Dang it.
“There is also a Lego book in the box.”
My sister answers that one -“I got it for you for Christmas last year but it wasn’t what I thought so I just hung onto it.”
I’m still kind of in shock “Okay let’s go check it out.” As I’m leaving the room I hear my sister say “Are you going to handle this? I don’t know what to do.”
I whipered back laughing- “I don’t know what to do either.”
I walk into the room and see a black plastic box on the floor. Sure enough, lying in the box, face down, on top of The Lego Ideas Book: Unlock Your Imagination is Buddy the Elf. Crap.
I pull out my best 21st century answer. “Well guys I am going to have to google what to do. I’m not sure if we need to send him back to Santa or what. Let’s go find my phone so I can look up directions.”
As I turn to leave P says “can you get me the Lego book?” So I have to get the book (without touching the Elf corpse) and escort them back into the living room where my sister sits.
They both begin playing and we think maybe the moment has passed. P is involved in the book. C is checking out her new toys. So maybe if we just leave it alone no more conversation will be had. This lasts about five minutes and then P disappears into the room and comes out carrying the whole big black box.
So now that the elephant is LITERALLY in the room we can’t avoid it.
My sister gives it her shot. “Are you SURE neither of you touched him during Christmas? P are you sure? (he nods his head) C are you sure? (she nods her head). Did Baby T maybe touch him (Baby T couldn’t even crawl during Christmas)? Okay I guess nobody touched him.” I think she was hoping someone would confess and that would be her out.
FINALLY an idea popped into my head. “Wait, doesn’t he stay still all day and only move at night when you are asleep? So maybe right now he is just being very still and tonight he will move around. He got trapped in the box and now can get out and go home!”
So he is sitting in the black box, face down, on top of the dining room table waiting for nightfall when he will leave a note and return to Santa until the holidays!
Becky says
Our elf comes back for Birthdays!
Jeana says
This is hilarious!!! Thanks for a good laugh. 🙂
Cheryl says
That is just too funny!!